Dynamic Dragon

By Penny Behling – dragon boat festival organizer, paddler and coach

Dragon boating saved my life. Not literally. But it did emotionally, and I knew it would.

The need to be saved had been culminating for some months during the winter last year and my emotional state tumbled into tremendous despair when I lost my very close friend of more than 14 years, Karen Black, on February 15, 2008. Karen, a 35-year-old single mother and high school English teacher, was diagnosed with Stage IV breast cancer that metastasized into her brain. She fought with unflinching courage and without complaint for more than two years. “You have to deal the hand you’re dealt,” she would say sometimes.

It’s difficult to watch the last few months when you know a person you care for so much will not be alive much longer and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. Not to mention the difficulty in seeing that person’s health deteriorate.

Understandably, this is how it came to pass that I needed saving last spring.

I am an inherent extrovert; however, when something this emotionally monumental hit me, I retreated into a world of lost sadness and began missing Karen more than I thought was possible. Never before had I lost someone I truly enjoyed spending time with and speaking to on a regular basis.

For a number of months, I could not bring myself to want to be among people. At the same time, part of me longed for it.

I anticipated the dragon boat season. I knew I’d spend a lot of time coaching festival teams. I knew the sport, the interaction with people and the passion dragon boating sparks for almost everyone I encounter would save me. And it did.

The highlight of my coaching season was the Hospice of Chattanooga team. The all-female team landed in my boat only two months after Karen died. I asked them to paddle in the cancer survivor ceremony on race day, explaining that I had just lost a close friend who had been on hospice for 10 days before her death. The compassion and interest they showed for my situation was incredible. They treat dying patients all the time, yet they understood completely the humaneness of going with dignity, and having loved ones who can provide competent care. Beyond the bonding in the boat which always should happen between a coach and a team, we had the bond of devastating loss. Their coach was someone who knew what kind of work they do and how much they must go through to do it with pride and dedication. This team experience went a long way in starting my healing process. It continued with each subsequent team.

Helping people realize they can do something fun and physical, they can succeed, they can do their best and be proud of themselves, gave me much more confidence than I expected. It went a long way in repairing the huge, incomparable hole I felt. Karen’s death had broken my heart.

Dragon boating did save my life and it does each time I step into that boat, knowing this is something that makes me happy. It may not be a replacement, but it is a comfort.